I know! I’m as shocked as you were to see Minka Kelly pop up over and over again during the hour. She had lines. She had action. She and Karl Urban had some chemistry. It was all good. Aside from the excessively creepy clone dudes causing trouble - they felt uber rape-y. (Sorry, actor who played them. That’s just how you look!) Next time though, more talk of Dorian’s anatomy. (Kidding.) I know some people have given up on Almost Human already, but I’m sticking with it. I like the bromance. I like Lili Taylor as the police captain. I’m all for Fox dynamic duo shows (see: Bones).
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I got heavily involved in watching LOTR Two Towers (extraneous cut edition) so I didn’t quiiiite get to Revenge or OUAT. Masters of Sex, however, I watched it. Really enjoying Lizzy Caplan and basically all the women in the cast but am not quite ready to talk extensively about it. Next week, perhaps. For now, I’m just going to leave this here:
"We’re Nine Direction now."
SNL is always hundo p improved when they sneak famous alum into the show. In this case, I mean Kristen Wiig (in addition to the cast of Anchorman 2) for the Sound of Music Live open. SO good. Although missed opportunity not casting the 1D boys as the other Von Trap kids, but I guess they’re technically just the musical guests. And music-wise they were solid. “Through the Dark” is probably my favourite track off of Midnight Memories, so on a personal level, psyched that it was their second song choice. Also, smart move for them as it let them show the usual SNL audience that 1D isn’t a traditional boy band and their music’s becoming less pop-y.
Sure, I could talk about last night’s Damon-centric TVD and the Stefan and Katherine makeout session. I could squeal with delight for hours about Francis telling Mary he loved her and them getting uuuuuber cozy post-kidnapping trauma on Reign. And I could put forward a laundry list of complaints about Glee’s Christmas fall finale complete with sexy Santa. But if we’re all being totally honest with ourselves, last night was all about this:
Oh Carrie…you poor poor soul. Yes, you are a talented multi Grammy-winning artist. But actress, you are not. Please never try to act again. On the stage. On the small screen. On the big screen. Verboten.
The rest of the cast will come out on the other side relatively unscathed. I mean, Audra McDonald will continue to be a goddess and add to her Tony collection. Laura Benanti and Christian Borle - also Tony-winners - will live to see other roles TV or otherwise (RIP Go On and Smash). The kids are cute theatre kids; carry on with your joyous childhood, guys! Even Vampire Bill, Stephen Moyer, wasn’t all that bad. He can sing well enough, is hunky and has that stern British upper lip that translates over to stiff Austrian circa 1938.
Carrie was the dud. Her singing was breathy and uncontrolled when choreography demanded more of her. Whoever fitted her in wardrobe HATED her, with every dress (aside from the “ugliest” one, which was perfectly figure flattering) making her look bulky and/or squat. (Don’t get me started on her Edelweiss choker.) She had zero chemistry with Moyer - and minimal with the children Maria allegedly loved. All her lines were delivered with an overly innocent and saccharine expression. So punchable.
And then the lighting. Oy. The lighting. Not even the dying daytime soap operas have lighting that bad. Whenever there were pockets of light to find, the cast made sure to avoid them (accidentally or intentionally - I’m not sure).
Hey NBC, next time you attempt this (and I hope you do, honestly!), do everyone these two favours: One, invest in a lighting plan that takes HD TV, camera angles and everything else into consideration. Two, try some less famous Broadway actors in the lead roles. (Sutton Foster, Megan Hilty, GET IN THERE.)
Did Grant Gustin meet your approval as the man soon to be known as The Flash? Do you think The CW can build a spinoff show on Gustin’s shoulders for 2014-15? I actually dig Gustin as Barry Allen. He’s not the most obvious choice but after seeing him play total jerks on Glee and 90210, I was pleasantly surprised to see he has range and can nail that eager beaver semi-nerd chord needed for this role. Meanwhile, I think we need to give Arrow a round of applause for a stellar sophomore season. Stephen Amell is oft on Facebook teasing fans with “BIGGEST EPISODE TO DATE”-type messaging and yet it never over-hypes what’s to come.
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This just felt oh-so-fitting for my 1500th post.
Although, I’m pretty sure many of us were already in love with The Mindy Project's handsome curmudgeon. Let's go to the game tape:
Yep. Definitely the greatest TV dance routine of the year. (I’d like to see him go head to head with Ross and Monica Gellar’s routine actually. DANCE BATTLE!) Also fantastic? Mindy’s four step party plan to getting the guy. Because she - like many ladies my age - was raised on the perfect blend of 80s, 90s and naughts rom-coms and coming-of-age pop culture AND THAT IS THE LESSON IT IMPARTED ON US ALL. Forget Maria Menounos’ cameo and let’s just linger on the adorableness of Danny’s grandpa glasses:
I probably shouldn’t even bother with the other TV last night but I have to talk Trophy Wife. Are you watching it? I kind of love the relationship/marriage they’ve created for Malin Ackerman and Bradley Whitford. Kate and Pete are just fantastically NORMAL. They tease each other, communicate, care for each other, get distracted by their insane family situation. It’s a realistic love. The writers are doing a good job surfacing all these characters and giving them some hilarious stuff to do - EXCEPT for the daughter…she’s a little lost in the mix and generally annoying (intentionally so, but still). Catch up over the holiday hiatus and get back to me, okay?
OH, The Originals. I think I have to break-up with it. Aside from Daniel Gillies being incredibly dashing and very handsome in a pea jacket as Elijah, I just don’t care. I want to, but I can’t. And I find this whole Elijah-Hayley romance forced, icky and lacking in chemistry.
When Neil Patrick Harris has to read a cue card of Canadiana, hasn’t How I Met Your Mother gone a little too far? Perhaps it’s because I am Canadian that I feel this way? I’m not sure. I just know that Crash Test Dummies shouldn’t be the go-to music joke from a nation who’s got Bieber, Buble, Celine, Shania, and so many more to mock. (Celine Dion is PRIME for the picking on.) Anywho, thanks CBS for the PSA on the gems of Canada; shamefully, you probably taught a few Canucks some facts about their own country while educating Amurrrica. Additionally, Ted dressed as Liberace for the episode was just the gift that kept on giving.
In other news, no one does casual flippancy better than James Spader. Last night was part two of The Blacklist’s fall finale and as he hopped out of the box at the top of the hour and said, “Anslo, what are you doing here?” I knew I was going to have to revisit Boston Legal while the show is on hiatus to get my fix of Spader’s dry delivery and superb acting skills. And now, ALAN ALDA! Oh man - he looks and sounds EXACTLY the same as his West Wing character. I really hope he’s still Senator Vinick and this is what he went into after he lost the Presidential race to Jimmy Smits.
And we’re now four episodes into Almost Human and still building on the bromance that is John Kennex and Dorian. Plus now they’ve got their own squintern (fitting since they currently occupy Bones' timeslot) for science support! But I have to ask AGAIN: Is Minka Kelly ACTUALLY in this show? There's slow burn and then there's minimal screen time because she's scenery at best. I'm just saying. I have nothing against here. Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose forever. But she's wasted talent.
I feel like a broken record when I say this but The Good Wife is just SO SO GOOD. Every week, I just feel unqualified to wax poetic about the writing, acting, every single superb part of the series. “The Decision Tree” this week was no exception, bringing back one of my favourite guest stars, John Noble (and his delightful accent - although he’s Aussie and his character’s accent felt more South African at times. Just me?) as Mattew Ashbaugh AND giving all the Will-Alicia fans a little sexy something with all the on-going flashbacks. Plus Stockard Channing! And Nathan Lane (who is perfection in this role - did you not love his cross examination?!). There was really something for everyone here.
And just to highlight how quippy and fun the writing can be, even when the episode is breaking your heart (Will’s faux interrogation of Alicia and subsequent crack…it nearly killed me), I’ve got to include some quotes:
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It was all kinds of whackadoo. Elton John was there. I don’t know; I feel like sleep deprivation is not the time to watch Gagaloo and Kermit.
And then Glee also had puppets because if you sit in the back of the choir room, you get high on fumes and imagine stuff….
Personally, I was appalled by Shue and Sue’s Rogers-Astaire homage, but they also gave us Jake Puckerman’s abs. So….wash.
Okay, there were a few shows but nothing I really watch and therefore I choose to ignore it all and leave you with this Friends’ gif:
Happy Thanksgiving America! I’m psyched to watch your parade on my PVR later tonight.
Not quite a bar, but the three of them did sing “Livin’ On A Prayer” together at the White Winter Gala at Kensington Palace.
Is it bad that I want to yell “TAYLOR, IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT YOU!” when she starts with her, ahem, dancing?