Am I the only person who thinks Charlie Rowe looks like a younger version of Tom Hiddleston?
Rowe plays Leo, so the “official” cast photo of him isn’t really going to help my case here - except that I REALLY see it in the smile and the eyes, even when he’s without a mop of hair - so here are some shots of him outside of Red Band Society context:
And one of Hiddles for good measure:
Am I crazy? Do you not see it?!!? Even just a HINT of Hiddles in Lowe? (Ignore the difference in eye colour and try again.)
His book’s called Choose Your Own Autobiography.
I can’t stop watching this adorable trailer. Each square requires my singular attention!
Two words: Diamond Dan.
And then the female population of North America (and on the Internet where everyone else obviously bootlegged the season premiere IMMEDIATELY) swooned and died.
And with the return of fall TV, I’m compelled to recap and word vomit opinions about the insane, inane, awesome or truly and spectacularly terrible things on TV.
There’s greatness coming on Tuesday, Sept. 16th (i.e. today, TODAY) with the return of The Mindy Project. Truly a brilliant and spectacular season premiere coming your way, which you’ll need as a palate cleanser after the madness that was DWTS last night.
Let us start with the promo (which aired during Jeopardy!’s season premiere - more on that at the end of this post - and COMPELLED me to blog my feelings):
I mean COME ON. 1) T-Swizzle’s “Shake It Off.” Yes. Well played, ABC. 2) THE CARLTON DANCE. THAT IS ALL WE NEED, AM I RIGHT ’90s CHILDREN?!
Now before we dive in, there are some names that require reactions:
1) Bethany Mota: If I still lived in Canada, I’d have no flipping clue who this chick is. (Even her partner, Emmy-winner Derek Hough (HA), didn’t know who he was dancing with.) FORTUNATELY (or unfortunately - this could go either way), I’ve been exposed to Mota’s never-ending and boundlessly annoying commercials on The CW to know she’s a YouTube “star.” Like, she has 7 MILLION followers and has been on the cover of Seventeen magazine. *Sigh, dry heave, eye roll* Moving on.
2) Leah Thompson: Cue the older Christian Right….aka the prime demo of this show…Leah Thompson is totally heading for Mirrorball domination (in my mind).
3) Jonathan Bennet: He deserves to win based on the first line of his Twitter alone. But if he can get Lilo to sit in the audience one night, well…that’s a trending moment all of its own.
4) Sadie Roberson: Of Duck Dynasty fame…so she too may command the Christian Right fan boy. Sorry Leah, I retract my domination comment.
5) Alfonso Ribeiro: If he doesn’t dance to Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual” before being eliminated this season, SO HELP ME GOD….
And now beginneth the stream of consciousness thoughts that were the results of TWO HOURS of Dancing With The Stars:
Julianne Hough appears to have brought her mirror balls to the judging table…if you know what I mean. (Tom Bergeron’s first comment to/about her was about her “bursting” to be there. And later Bruno said she was “practically lactating.” It was great.)
1st up: Antonio Sabato Jr - PAHAHAHAHA. I’m sorry, I forgot to include my original reaction to Sabato Jr. being on this show. HOW does he not have any kind of natural talent when it comes to Latin dance? HE IS LATIN IN ORIGIN. The least sexy dance I’ve seen in a loooong time. Almost as long a time as Cheryl’s been a Mirrorball Champion.
2nd up: Leah Thompson - IMPORTANT FACT: Baryshnikov once called Leah Thompson “stock” so he was a dick long before he met Carrie Bradshaw, y’all. My feelings about fun songs oft cloud my judgement about a performance, but I was totally in love with “This Will Be” AND Leah’s routine. So were the judges.
3rd: Janel Parrish - The show confirmed that Mona has not been killed off of PLL (yet). Sorry, I broke up with that show because I cannot and will not spend years just asking the question: WHO THE EFF IS A? Moving on, my love for “Bang Bang” did not carry through to love for Janel and Val. A) It was a sloppy jive and don’t tell me otherwise. Her kicks were not crisp. B) That look barely worked on Ariana Grande at the VMAs; I didn’t need to see it again.
- Val’s “grandma’s got swag.” I wish to meet her next week, ABC. Make the dreams come true.
- Remember when this show forced everyone to do the same dance each week? Or they only had a choice between two styles per week? I miss that.
4th: Lolo Jones - While Keo might be able to teach people how to dance, he’s thus far been unsuccessful getting Lolo Jones to move her hips in a sexual fashion. And that makes for a hell of an awkward dance routine. I feel badly getting down on her, because she was hella hard on herself once judging came around. But still, she’s an OLYMPIAN (hurdles! bobsled! things that require speed and coordination!). I feel like she’s in shape enough to nail the cardio required around dance; but it seems like the editing would like to imply that her virginity will hinder her rhythm in weeks to come. Ouch.
5th: Betsey Johnson - She looks FABULOUS for 72. But she also looks like a Muppet. (I mean that in the nicest way, I SWEAR.) Is every routine going to be subliminal advertising for her label? I’m totally okay with it as long as she’s always in ’80s wear, dancing to vintage Madonna and doing cartwheels.
6th: Tavis Smiley - Don’t know him. Not invested. His partner Sharna seems cute. Not bad. Not great. Not bananas enough to talk about any more.
7th: Sadie Robertson - Zero dance experience but she’s in good hands with Mark Ballas. And wardrobe seems to like her. Bonus help: all the praying that her family does. ABC managing to bring Duck Dynasty to the audience is a smart ploy. Moving on - is it Alfonso’s turn yet?
8th: Michael Waltrip - Hold the phone: Bill Engvall made it to the FINALS last season. Colour me impressed. This “Born to Be Wild” cha cha was awful. Next.
9th: Jonathan Bennet - And then we all started getting misty-eyed as Jonathan talked about watching DWTS every season with his dad before he died earlier this year. “And now he’s watching me, just from a different seat.” *looks up* AND TEARS. His unwavering, unfailing, overwhelming enthusiasm blinded me to any faults in his routine. It was SO FUN. Bonus: He’s paired with Mrs. tWitch - aka Allison Holker from SYTYCD. (It appears the show’s hair person is not a fan.)
- I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT ANY MORE ROUTINES UNTIL ALFONSO DANCES BUT LET IT BE KNOWN THAT CHONG OF CHEECH AND CHONG FAME IS ON THE SHOW BECAUSE CHEECH BET HIM HE COULDN’T GET ON IT. There was swearing, pot references and CHEECH IN A GREEN CONVERTIBLE BOPPING IN THE BACKGROUND. Oh yeah, and Chong dances to Snoop’s “Drop It Like It Hot.” Surprisingly entertaining AND not terrible dancing.
- Blah blah blah, UFC fighter Randy Couture, decent foxtrot, great song (“The Way You Look Tonight”). Carrie Ann lost her mind over him. BRING ME CARLTON OR BRING ME SWEET RELEASE FROM THIS MADNESS.
- ONE HOUR AND FORTY-SEVEN MINUTES into this premiere and we’re now forced to listen to Bethany Mota explain to Middle America who she is, what she does and what a “vlogger” is in general. But she did get T-Swizzle’s “Shake It Off” to enamour her to the viewing public. WHERE ART THOU, ALFONSO????
FINALLY: Alfonso Ribeiro - Who doesn’t want to be known as just Carlton Banks. Tough shit, dude. Embrace it like you’re Elizabeth Berkley and SO EXCITED on season 18. Or Jennifer Grey carrying a watermelon in season 11 (all the way to the final and owning that mirrorball, I might add). Naturally, HE KILLED IT on the dance floor. Now, can we get a Fresh Prince reunion in the audience next week? Will Smith, you answer Alfonso’s call when it comes in!
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