Sorry new sitcoms, you’re just not as well-written or well-executed as The Mindy Project. But I appreciate you trying. And I can’t always just sit around Wednesday mornings applauding Mindy. (Well, I can, but it may get boring.)
Newbie Selfie is the sitcom most critics and pop culture influencers are most charmed by. Personally, I’m not a fan of demonising social media but I do appreciate the commentary that the show is offering up. And John Cho isn’t the worst choice for a modern day Henry Higgins.
Now over on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, I’m still reeling emotionally from the Fitz reveal last week. It’s so heartbreaking. But I don’t know if SHIELD is continuing on the path to betterment that it found at the end of season one. Adding B.J. Britt’s Antoine “Tripp” Triplett last season was the best thing the show did for the chemistry mix. Season two has Coulson being uber bossy now that he’s the big boss. Skye is still dead weight, although she can now kick ass. And the least interesting villain or mystery woman or whatever you want to call Rayna, has been brought back from the shadows. Oy, did my eyes roll. No thank you. Give me something new, stat.
For the WHOLE season of The Voice…alright it’s only been three episodes but that’s SIX hours of TV, Gwen Stefani has been going on and on and on about how she knows boys and can totally work with boys and has always been around boys. We get it. Or I thought everyone did, until Adam piped up to explain it all out loud. To us. But also to himself. That’s right, Stefani is married to a man, has three sons, was in a band of all boys and is now on a show with three male co-Judges. Thanks, Adam. Gwen won the night by interrupting his man math with this quote:
“I had to hire four Harujuku girls to hang out with me. That was the only time I ever got to hang out with girls.”
Ha. Yes. Best. For more top moments from last night’s Blind Auditions, hop along over to The TV Junkies where I’m now writing stuff sometimes.
Meanwhile on Gotham, I have to admit it wasn’t all AMAZING. Now, before you send a lynch mob, lots of it is awesome. Robin Lord Taylor’s Penguin is phenomenal. Jada Pinkett-Smith is….a little…theatrical. Overly so. Is that the point of her performance? I don’t think so, but I also don’t think she’s one for nuance.
And Ben McKenzie, well I love him dearly and will therefore stay blind to some of his slightly forced/wooden moments. He’s got it in him and sometimes the writing is great and works, so I’m sticking to my guns.
It’s time for another note from Joan:
Why you no make ALL the Goldberg gifs?? I needs them.
(And I’m really too lazy to make them myself. ABC, will you make them for me? Pretty please?)
This past spring I lost Enlisted and Trophy Wife; I refuse to go through the trauma of losing another new(ish) sitcom I adore next spring. Which means I may have to go door-to-door, and force people to watch several episodes of The Goldbergs until they appreciate it’s genus. (And I’m starting with season one’s “Who Are You Going to Telephone?”)
The season two premiere was all about mix tapes, which I have SO many feelings about including the present day feeling of lamenting the fact that we can’t/don’t make people mix tapes/CDs anymore; and fake IDs, which I’ve never had (hi Mum!). A joyous and triumphant return, though with minimal Erica, but I’m not fussed about that. God, this show is good.
Also celebrating its season premiere (on ABC no less), Nashville who gave it the ol’ college try mixing a live performance (twice! once on each coast) in with its usual episode. It was….um…sigh…a nice try? The performances themselves were good; it was the aesthetic that was an issue.
Moving on, Gunner and Avery need a buddy-comedy, road trip, musical movie STAT. I’d watch the HECK out of that. EVERYONE would watch the heck out of that. And Scarlett’s parasol can come too. (Just not Scarlett.)
And that’s all I’ve got as I’m not ready to comment on Rayna’s engagement decisions. Although, she did make the healthier, more reasonable and realistic choice.
Dear New Girl,
Get funnier. Give us more of the high kids in the closet.
In all honesty, it wasn’t THE WORST. Dating apps are begging to be made fun of. Alas, New Girl failed achieving that goal. And when you hold New Girl up next to The Mindy Project…no contest.
Rhea Pearlman was perfect casting for mother Castellano, n’est pas?
"Are you arousing my son in my own house? A boy’s bedroom should never have an erection in it!"
Don’t worry, I didn’t indadvertedly recap DWTS again this week. I just needed to show you what Lea Thompson rocked because, while the picture of my TV doesn’t really do it justice (ABC, can’t a girl on the west coast get a decent image on the interwebs!?), she looked SMOKING. On the Carleton dance front: No dice, but Alfonso Ribeiro did dance to Will Smith’s “Getting Jiggy Wit It” so 14-year-old Joan is squealing.
On the other 2-hour reality TV show front, The Voice kicked off with a performance from the four judges, Gwen, Pharrell, Adam and Blake. Present day Joan squealed watching the phenomenal chemistry the four have; their banter is SO great. I want to just hang out with those four. Always. (Sorry Usher and Shakira, you’ve been replaced. Not sorry, Cee Lo and Xtina, you never had it.) Lots of notable singers whose names I’m not going to bother listing till we get to some smaller teams. But one dude did work at a dog bar, where you can bring your dog and drink and I’m INTERESTED in going there.
Gotham finally made its big premiere and I lustily and heartily welcome Ben McKenzie back to network television. Yes, there was a LOT of winks to Batman in the pilot, but I’m confident that it’ll settle down into the gritty drama that we all want it to be. And the 36 year-old has just enough gravitas to do be the future Commissioner Gordon. Ryan Atwood’s all grown up and cleaning up Gotham! Who knew!?
Real talk about Forever (and it may make me unpopular): I just don’t really care all that much. Am I pleased to see Ioan Gruffudd doing something after the disaster that was Ringer? Definitely. He can Gruffudd me any day. But this is a DVR-it-and-watch-it-every-couple-of-weeks-when-you’re-hungover-on-Sunday show for me. I vow to be vaguely aware of it and no more (which is more than I’ll say for the following shows this fall: The Mysteries of Laura, Madame Secretary, State of Affairs, Scorpion…the list probably goes on..).
The Big Bang Theory is seeking shelter on Monday nights while football prevails, which I find amusing. You know, because nerds and jocks…..fine, don’t smile. I think it’s some kind of ironic. Anyway, Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting debuted a new last name and a sassy short ‘do. (Ps. I like it!) 45 days passed since we left everyone in the spring. Shelton’s still….Sheldon-y, never leaving the train stations but travelling all over the US. Raj has held on to his “hot” girlfriend. Penny’s set to become a pharmaceutical girl (where’s Barney Stinson when you need him!) at Bernadette’s company. Mutual fear of Bernadette snagged her the job, which was a cute twist after a terrible interview.
And then I passed out because the hours of TV were overwhelming me….go on without me….
Season six kicked off with such a bang, that I ALMOST forgot to mourn the fact Josh Charles was gone gone gone. This helped:
(Many thanks to this Tumblr for the above Cary gifs.)
I’m really pleased that Matt Czuchry is about to have a meaty story arc this season. It’s his turn. He’s had some great bits here and there in the past five years, but obviously took a back seat to some of the other players. This is a big big story for Czuchry.
Is it still too much to think that he’s still Logan Huntzburger but changed his name after his father disowned him for becoming an attorney?
Shhhh…let me dream.
Am I the only person who thinks Charlie Rowe looks like a younger version of Tom Hiddleston?
Rowe plays Leo, so the “official” cast photo of him isn’t really going to help my case here - except that I REALLY see it in the smile and the eyes, even when he’s without a mop of hair - so here are some shots of him outside of Red Band Society context:
And one of Hiddles for good measure:
Am I crazy? Do you not see it?!!? Even just a HINT of Hiddles in Lowe? (Ignore the difference in eye colour and try again.)
His book’s called Choose Your Own Autobiography.
I can’t stop watching this adorable trailer. Each square requires my singular attention!
Two words: Diamond Dan.
And then the female population of North America (and on the Internet where everyone else obviously bootlegged the season premiere IMMEDIATELY) swooned and died.
And with the return of fall TV, I’m compelled to recap and word vomit opinions about the insane, inane, awesome or truly and spectacularly terrible things on TV.
There’s greatness coming on Tuesday, Sept. 16th (i.e. today, TODAY) with the return of The Mindy Project. Truly a brilliant and spectacular season premiere coming your way, which you’ll need as a palate cleanser after the madness that was DWTS last night.
Let us start with the promo (which aired during Jeopardy!’s season premiere - more on that at the end of this post - and COMPELLED me to blog my feelings):
I mean COME ON. 1) T-Swizzle’s “Shake It Off.” Yes. Well played, ABC. 2) THE CARLTON DANCE. THAT IS ALL WE NEED, AM I RIGHT ’90s CHILDREN?!
Now before we dive in, there are some names that require reactions:
1) Bethany Mota: If I still lived in Canada, I’d have no flipping clue who this chick is. (Even her partner, Emmy-winner Derek Hough (HA), didn’t know who he was dancing with.) FORTUNATELY (or unfortunately - this could go either way), I’ve been exposed to Mota’s never-ending and boundlessly annoying commercials on The CW to know she’s a YouTube “star.” Like, she has 7 MILLION followers and has been on the cover of Seventeen magazine. *Sigh, dry heave, eye roll* Moving on.
2) Leah Thompson: Cue the older Christian Right….aka the prime demo of this show…Leah Thompson is totally heading for Mirrorball domination (in my mind).
3) Jonathan Bennet: He deserves to win based on the first line of his Twitter alone. But if he can get Lilo to sit in the audience one night, well…that’s a trending moment all of its own.
4) Sadie Roberson: Of Duck Dynasty fame…so she too may command the Christian Right fan boy. Sorry Leah, I retract my domination comment.
5) Alfonso Ribeiro: If he doesn’t dance to Tom Jones’ “It’s Not Unusual” before being eliminated this season, SO HELP ME GOD….
And now beginneth the stream of consciousness thoughts that were the results of TWO HOURS of Dancing With The Stars:
Julianne Hough appears to have brought her mirror balls to the judging table…if you know what I mean. (Tom Bergeron’s first comment to/about her was about her “bursting” to be there. And later Bruno said she was “practically lactating.” It was great.)
1st up: Antonio Sabato Jr - PAHAHAHAHA. I’m sorry, I forgot to include my original reaction to Sabato Jr. being on this show. HOW does he not have any kind of natural talent when it comes to Latin dance? HE IS LATIN IN ORIGIN. The least sexy dance I’ve seen in a loooong time. Almost as long a time as Cheryl’s been a Mirrorball Champion.
2nd up: Leah Thompson - IMPORTANT FACT: Baryshnikov once called Leah Thompson “stock” so he was a dick long before he met Carrie Bradshaw, y’all. My feelings about fun songs oft cloud my judgement about a performance, but I was totally in love with “This Will Be” AND Leah’s routine. So were the judges.
3rd: Janel Parrish - The show confirmed that Mona has not been killed off of PLL (yet). Sorry, I broke up with that show because I cannot and will not spend years just asking the question: WHO THE EFF IS A? Moving on, my love for “Bang Bang” did not carry through to love for Janel and Val. A) It was a sloppy jive and don’t tell me otherwise. Her kicks were not crisp. B) That look barely worked on Ariana Grande at the VMAs; I didn’t need to see it again.
- Val’s “grandma’s got swag.” I wish to meet her next week, ABC. Make the dreams come true.
- Remember when this show forced everyone to do the same dance each week? Or they only had a choice between two styles per week? I miss that.
4th: Lolo Jones - While Keo might be able to teach people how to dance, he’s thus far been unsuccessful getting Lolo Jones to move her hips in a sexual fashion. And that makes for a hell of an awkward dance routine. I feel badly getting down on her, because she was hella hard on herself once judging came around. But still, she’s an OLYMPIAN (hurdles! bobsled! things that require speed and coordination!). I feel like she’s in shape enough to nail the cardio required around dance; but it seems like the editing would like to imply that her virginity will hinder her rhythm in weeks to come. Ouch.
5th: Betsey Johnson - She looks FABULOUS for 72. But she also looks like a Muppet. (I mean that in the nicest way, I SWEAR.) Is every routine going to be subliminal advertising for her label? I’m totally okay with it as long as she’s always in ’80s wear, dancing to vintage Madonna and doing cartwheels.
6th: Tavis Smiley - Don’t know him. Not invested. His partner Sharna seems cute. Not bad. Not great. Not bananas enough to talk about any more.
7th: Sadie Robertson - Zero dance experience but she’s in good hands with Mark Ballas. And wardrobe seems to like her. Bonus help: all the praying that her family does. ABC managing to bring Duck Dynasty to the audience is a smart ploy. Moving on - is it Alfonso’s turn yet?
8th: Michael Waltrip - Hold the phone: Bill Engvall made it to the FINALS last season. Colour me impressed. This “Born to Be Wild” cha cha was awful. Next.
9th: Jonathan Bennet - And then we all started getting misty-eyed as Jonathan talked about watching DWTS every season with his dad before he died earlier this year. “And now he’s watching me, just from a different seat.” *looks up* AND TEARS. His unwavering, unfailing, overwhelming enthusiasm blinded me to any faults in his routine. It was SO FUN. Bonus: He’s paired with Mrs. tWitch - aka Allison Holker from SYTYCD. (It appears the show’s hair person is not a fan.)
- I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT ANY MORE ROUTINES UNTIL ALFONSO DANCES BUT LET IT BE KNOWN THAT CHONG OF CHEECH AND CHONG FAME IS ON THE SHOW BECAUSE CHEECH BET HIM HE COULDN’T GET ON IT. There was swearing, pot references and CHEECH IN A GREEN CONVERTIBLE BOPPING IN THE BACKGROUND. Oh yeah, and Chong dances to Snoop’s “Drop It Like It Hot.” Surprisingly entertaining AND not terrible dancing.
- Blah blah blah, UFC fighter Randy Couture, decent foxtrot, great song (“The Way You Look Tonight”). Carrie Ann lost her mind over him. BRING ME CARLTON OR BRING ME SWEET RELEASE FROM THIS MADNESS.
- ONE HOUR AND FORTY-SEVEN MINUTES into this premiere and we’re now forced to listen to Bethany Mota explain to Middle America who she is, what she does and what a “vlogger” is in general. But she did get T-Swizzle’s “Shake It Off” to enamour her to the viewing public. WHERE ART THOU, ALFONSO????
FINALLY: Alfonso Ribeiro - Who doesn’t want to be known as just Carlton Banks. Tough shit, dude. Embrace it like you’re Elizabeth Berkley and SO EXCITED on season 18. Or Jennifer Grey carrying a watermelon in season 11 (all the way to the final and owning that mirrorball, I might add). Naturally, HE KILLED IT on the dance floor. Now, can we get a Fresh Prince reunion in the audience next week? Will Smith, you answer Alfonso’s call when it comes in!
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